Shana and Michael:
It all started last July. I was baby sitting my younger cousin Kristian while my aunt was out of town for the weekend. As it was getting late I put Kristian to bed and I began to watch TV... 
>> Continued
 

 

 
     
 

 
 

She's From:   United States
He's From:     Australia

Some background to this story - "Sue" a 40 year old lady from the MidWest United States, met "Barry" from Queensland, Australia in a chat room one night.

     
 

They hit it off and began an intense cyber relationship that lasted on and off for nearly three years. 

Sue was single, but knew Barry was married and having some troubles. Their love affair led to them making long term plans to be together and Sue even visited Barry in Queensland, right under his wife's nose. It wasn't until a few months after Sue returned to the States that things began to sour. Barry decided to cool things off with Sue and give his marriage another go. But far from letting Sue down gently, he just stopped contacting her altogether. 

 

 



   

 

 
       
 

Sue was very worried at first, emailing him, calling and leaving messages at work. The number he had given her for his home was no longer in service, which confused her. From the States, she contacted the local police in Australia and convinced them to knock on his door to ascertain he was ok. He was, but he'd changed his number. She finally tracked down his new number and called but it wasn't until after he began hanging up on her phone calls, she guessed what was happening and her worry turned to anger. The email below was sent to me by Sue about a month after this had happened.

Ed
 

Hi there

So good to hear from you. Funny you'd write when you have. I got a letter from Barry yesterday, not e-mail, snail mail. But it only took a week to get here. I had sent a note to his wife along with a couple of posts that he had sent to me to prove he was having an affair with me. Maybe I shouldn't have done it, but after his return to work I called a couple of times. He kept hanging up on me, saying, "I don't wish to speak to you". This was long before I sent anything. I couldn't understand this. What had happened, why had he not been in touch, etc.....I guess I called him back so much that he finally decided to listen to me, to what I had to say. Didn't make any difference, I still did not get an explanation for his actions. As I said, I called a couple of times prior to Christmas, nothing, he just wouldn't talk. I don't even know if he listened much or just set the phone down and let me blabber away. But I did hear him clearing his throat at times, so I know he was listening for some of it. I told him I had the right to know what was going on, why he had done this. Shit, after 2 years 8 months I think I have a right to know what happened.

January 3rd I wrote him a long post, about 4 pages to try and get to him a little more. Nothing. No response. I called him again. I told him then as I had before Christmas that I wanted my personal things back and all the pic's I had sent him prior to us meeting. They are ones I can not replace. When he wouldn't talk to me yet again, he only hung up on me a couple of times this time and then listened to me, I decided that he didn't deserve to have this end with no one being the wiser but him, so I sent his wife the letter the following day. She did receive it and did read it. It has created much stress, according to his letter, too bad as I thought to myself. He deserved it! I have never been that vengeful towards anyone, it's his methods and lack of being a human being with some decency.

I then wrote him another post the second week of January telling him in one of the paragraphs that I would haunt him the rest of his days till I got back what was mine, that he will never know where or when I may just appear down there. That if it took the rest of my life (sort of thing) I'd get there somehow. I then told him that with what he has done to me, the other women he's had affairs with and to his family that maybe it would be best for all concerned if he weren't around anymore. And no, I didn't mean it in that way at all. After I sent it and re read it I thought it sounded a bit harsh, but I meant that maybe he should go off somewhere and be alone to think and stew in his thoughts of his life and what havoc he's created.

Anyway, there was a lot more in the note, but that particular paragraph he took as me threatening him, I guess between me saying I'd haunt him for the rest of his days, along with the....he shouldn't be around anymore. He did respond to that post. Told me he had posted me a letter the previous Saturday. This was last Tuesday, your Tuesday that is. And that he had been in touch with the local federal police in view of the fourth paragraph in my e-mail. That the fed's thought that my threat may contravene some of your criminal codes there. That all e-mails would be monitored, not to send him anything more and that the police there would be in touch with the police here should there be future breaches.

Of course I laughed and told him in my response that he must be joking. As I told him, do what you want, I don't care. As I told him, you have far more to lose in this than I do and the big difference is, I have enough material to sink him for the rest of his life, so what are the police here going to do to me. I've clearly stated in all my posts that I want my things back and then I will leave him alone, or that I'd haunt him, keep writing to him, calling him off and on till he got the message and sent the stuff back. How much more clear can I be. Good question.

He did say in that post that he would locate the material requested and return it as soon as possible. I told him good, because he would not get his rowing shirt back until I did get my things. His rowing shirt is so very important to him, according to him back a long time ago. That it was suppose to go to his eldest daughter Regan. So, I pulled another "woman scorned" and told him that for every week I did not have my things returned I would rip part of it, so that he'd better get my things back to me as fast as he could before the shirt wouldn't be worth saving. I told him, I would start this coming Monday, which was yesterday and every other Monday after that, so he'd better send the stuff back courier in order to minimize the damage to his shirt. Monday has passed as I said and nothing. I haven't put any tears in it yet and will avoid it for a little longer, but I won't avoid it forever.

His letter that I received yesterday basically told me that I didn't mean anything to him, that his wife now knows about his past and present with all his affairs. He even went as far to tell me that I was the sixth of seven, that he had had an affair while involved with me. What a bastard! He then tells me that all the things he told me about his wife were either lies or greatly exaggerated and that I would never have replaced the loving, caring, nurturing mother of his children, that they have heritage and history together and want to add to it. What a lot of garbage.

I'm in the middle of doing a response to his letter. I'm trying not to be nasty in it but it's pretty hard. No one has the right to treat me this way and boy, I've never felt this angry, mad and wanting so much to hurt him to the depths he's never known.

He then tells me at the end of this note that his wife has undertaken not to open anything else I may decide to send, that she will return it unopened. That if I try to contact him again he will inform the authorities there and they will get in touch with the authorities here to me leave him alone. Again, as I said in a previous post to him.....don't make me laugh. Then he says that he will spend the rest of his days making his relationship with his wife work along with his five beautiful children. Bull, once a cheater always a cheater. A leopard never changes it's spots. He may not cheat on her for a while, but he will again. What a piece of dirt he is!

I just don't know what the hell happened, what changed him overnight, literally overnight. As I said, all was fine, or so it seemed to me the night prior to him going on sick leave for the six weeks. We spoke, we laughed and we both said we loved each other, then the next day he was out of my life. I know I have to forget, just get on with my life, I know, but how does one do this when you've been hurt so deeply. When you don't know what happened or why. I'm now wondering if his wife found out about the other woman before she found out about me and if that is why he ended up off sick for that time prior to Christmas. Guess I'll never truly know what the hell is going on. I need the closure, but I guess I'll never get it. You just have no idea how much I would love the opportunity to be able to see him face to face and smack his face so hard it would send him reeling. He is the most despicable human being I've ever known in my life.

I refuse to believe he didn't love me and want me. I have all kinds of phone messages from him saying things he never had to say, since I wasn't home, letters, cards, e-mails etc.....And yet he says in his letter that he said and did all the things as a means to his end and that I should be able to figure out why. If that was the case I could see it happening for maybe a year, not 2 years 8 months. No one spends money, time, that amount of time with someone they don't care about or love, no way. He also told me in this letter that as I know he tried to get rid of me many times, but he couldn't. What a
lot of bull shit. It was me that ended it with him a few times and him as well as me that got things back on track again. I ended things with him before the end of April last year, as I mentioned, because he decided that he couldn't leave his children. I didn't speak to him for two weeks, then I called him to thank him for a money order he sent me to cover an ambulance bill I got because I had done a silly thing back a couple of months earlier, I had been drinking and took some pills and told him I didn't care if I lived or died, that I'm so unhappy and I want to be with him. 

He called the police here and they got the ambulance here. I couldn't afford the bill and told him since he called that I wanted him to pay the bill, that was when I was ending things in April. I was going to pay it myself, in time, but thought why the hell should I when he was doing this to me. He did send the money order and rather than send an e-mail, which I figured he'd respond to and I didn't want back and forth e-mails to start again, I called him to thank him. I was pleasant on the phone, asked how he was doing, he sounded so upset and down. Then I said to him, well, you wouldn't be feeling this way if you had some guts and loved me enough. It's you not me and that's why I had to end it. I can't wait the rest of my life for you and I won't. I told him I missed him too but that that doesn't solve the problem. 

He sent me a post telling me how much he missed me and still loved me. That he was still looking around at houses but wasn't game to do anything about it unless he knew I still wanted him and loved him....blah blah blah. Poured out his heart, what a joke that is, heart, what heart! So I let him back in my life again. Stupid, stupid stupid! Love at my end sure was deaf, dumb and totally blind! I believed him, believed in him and then he turns around and does this to me. He just wasn't finished with me yet, he wanted to make sure he could hurt me in a way he knew would last for a long time. And telling me he had an affair with another woman while he supposedly was so much in love with me, that he could never do anything like that to me because he loved me more than he'd ever loved anyone else in his life! I fell for all this, hook line and sinker. Guess I just wanted to believe that someone could love me that much.

Anyway, sorry I've gone on so much here. Guess your sorry too. It's a novel instead of a short story. Hope you don't fall asleep reading it. I just don't know what to do now, how to go on and try to have belief in myself, how to regain my self esteem again and how I'll ever be able to trust another man. This is the second man that has just ended things without me knowing why and I don't understand it. The last one was when I was 30, 10 years ago and until Barry I hadn't been involved with anyone because I didn't want to be hurt like that again. And here Barry does the same thing to me. He knew how fragile I was when it came to relationships and my fear of getting involved because of what the last guy did to me. He told me he would never hurt me like that, that I could trust him. Right! My own fault. Guess I should listen to myself more than I do. But he seemed so nice and we ended up having so much in common, more than I thought we would considering our backgrounds. He is well educated, I'm not. He's a writer and has a good job in Government. He wasn't keeping up his end for quite some time, prior to him even knowing or meeting me. So they demoted him on a six month trial period.

That happened a couple of weeks ago. I found out when I tried to reach him and called the main switchboard to find out his new number. Those at his work just told me that he was in a different department now, but didn't give me the number so I had to go about it another way. It was the woman on the switchboard that told me he had been put there on a trial period for six months. Interesting that she would reveal that type of information to someone she doesn't even know. I already knew about the possible demotion prior to him going on sick leave. He had been told about it back in September. That if he didn't pick up his socks in a short period of time he was going to be put down there. I just laughed and told him he deserved it. Cruel yes, but what's he been to me. What goes around comes around and whatever he gets as payment for all this he will have deserved.

Ok, I'm going to shut up now. I could go on forever about this. Yes, I know, you thought I already had... If you read all of this, thank you! Take good care, I'm always so happy
to know of others good luck in finding the right love. Hang on to it, it's something that has eluded me all my life. Being 40 now I don't hold out too much hope. I really thought Barry was the one. Shows you what thought did.

"Sue"