She's From: ?
He's From: ?
Well, it seems that Jason has decided
that he wasn't ready for a commitment.
Things between us got pretty much back to
usual after our last "fight" although they were never quite the same.
We had decided to take things slow because
we had both fallen way too quickly, or should I say that he wanted to
take things slowly. I realized that he was probably right so I agreed
with him, it was killing me inside that I couldn't tell him what was on
my mind, but for him, I slowed down.
Until it was, what I considered a significant day in our relationship,
so I expressed my feelings and then he backed off completely. It tore me
apart, I couldn't understand what I had done, it is so hard to explain.
He was forever pulling me toward him with what he was saying to me, so I
thought that my opening up to him would just make things better.
Prior to our disagreement he was always around and perpetually telling
me that he could and would make my life better, pulling me in, he is
responsible for my feelings. So things between my husband and I are
pretty much over, I've told him that I wanted out of the relationship,
and why - for someone who is a master player. I'm not sure where this
road will lead for me. I spoke
with Jason a few days ago and he basically told me that he didn't want
this anymore, so my theory is that he was fine with playing the game,
but as soon as it was about to become a reality.....well he proved to me
what he really was.
I've gone through being upset and sad, and then I was angry, I felt that
I was played for a fool and now I just don't believe all that has
happened. I'm in a daze here and I can't believe that I allowed this to
happened to me, I'm usually a very sensible woman. When a guy says all
the things that a girl needs to hear, well sensibility just goes out the
window, and that is where mine ended up.
My friends think that Jason got scared and overwhelmed and that he will
be back for me, that he couldn't have said the things that he said
without meaning them. But my thoughts on that is that he never meant
anything that he said because if he did then he could not have hurt me
the way he did. I think that my friends are just trying to ease my pain.
He was cruel to pull me in like he did and then to just push me away,
when I was ready to give him want he was asking for.
So a word of advice to everyone who is hearing all the things that they
want to hear, be careful and guard your heart, because there are people
out there who are capable of breaking it. I'm not saying that everyone
will do what Jason did, there are many happy endings out there, but for
the sake of your sanity, be very careful. I've learned from this though,
and I've made changes in my life that probably were supposed to be made.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and if I met
Jason just so I could make the changes that have occurred then I guess
it was meant to be....things have a funny way of working themselves out.
If I was meant to have my heart broken in order to accomplish something,
then that's just the way the cookie crumbles.....
Thanks for listening and good luck to all out there in cyberspace
falling in love, I hope it works out for you, and I hope that you will
all have a happy ending. I am very determined to find my happy ending
now, I don't really know what that will be, but I am a very driven
person and I will find it.
Looking for Part One? It's