Mars & Deborah 3:
As Deborah went to the departure hall to fly out of Adelaide I knew that the next few months were going to drag on slowly and that I would miss her like crazy. I just didnt want her to go but that was the reality of the situation. When she got back...
>> Continued




She's From:   United States
He's From:     United Kingdom

Coming back from England was difficult for me but for Paul it was just as heartbreaking.

Things became extremely intolerable for him at home. She was hell-bent on making him as miserable as possible.

  Paul & Dusty together at last

About two months had gone by when I received a phone call early one Sunday morning. I was surprised to hear a female voice with a distinct accent on the other end of the line. She told me her name was Gina and that she had come across my name while looking through some papers on her desk. At first I thought it might be someone from the agency that had the cottage and that perhaps something had been damaged. But something in my gut told me otherwise so I was very careful in the answers that I gave to her many questions.

"Have you ever been to England?"....."Do you know anyone named Paul?" I was scared shitless, so denied all knowledge.






Of course I'd been to England, I had no reason to lie about that. She was very full of herself and edged on being rude. After putting the phone down, I rang James and told him everything. He tried at once to reach Paul on his mobile phone but had no luck. It was by chance that he rang me, a very unusual thing for a Sunday. He really didn't seem too bothered about it and told me not to worry. Of course I did....

The next morning he rang and told me that they knew everything and had known the entire time I was in England! Apparently he had left a receipt lying around from some flowers that he had sent me back in July. (bollocks! Those two nosey old witches went through his pants pockets and wallet) They had my phone number, home address, and even my work number! You can only imagine how terrified I was that they were psychotic. She had forbidden him to ever talk to me again (you can see how he obeyed *L*) and because of James and Darren's friendship with me, he was to have no further contact with them as well. (and they were lifelong friends) 

Paul was desperate to get out of there and to me as soon as possible and began looking into airline tickets. Within a few days he had a possible fight date. I would have to wait a few weeks to see him because it was expensive and he would be literally pulling the money out of nowhere. Because of her and her mothers dominating ways, he was going to have to sneak away. (pathetic huh? A grown man resorting to these tactics, they should be ashamed of themselves) His one regret above everything was and still is his young son. He spent every moment he could with him. It was perhaps because of this that when it came to actually paying for a ticket and getting on a plane that he drug his feet a bit. When he was to fly the first time, he told me that he didn't have enough money. The next week, he had the money, only there weren't any available seats. I was becoming increasingly afraid for my heart. My heart soared the next week when he told me he finally had a seat on standby! I looked forward with great anticipation to seeing him again. But that was to be short-lived...

The day before he was to fly, he called me in tears to say that he just couldn't do it. He was not ready to leave his son. He was going to move out of the house first and get the divorce finalized and then come to me. Needless to say I went ballistic! I yelled and screamed at him for nearly an hour. (honestly I'm not heartless and I do understand his heartbreak) I explained to him that until he left England they were not going to take any of this seriously. Yes, he might move out and they might actually file for divorce, but they would control every single aspect of his life with his son. But if he came to me here, he would have quality time with him over quantity time, as she could not control his visits from 3000 miles away! He agreed to come, making comments about how strong I was (I was tearing apart and screaming inside from the stress of it all) and promised to get on the next available plane. He rang me back later to say that he'd done it! He'd booked and paid for a flight the very next Friday. It was definite...he was coming at last. Well that was the plan anyway....

He told her that he was moving out and even looked at apartments during the week before he was to fly. He then told her that he was going to stay at a hotel until he could find a place. (actually he was going to stay with James) I waited and waited for a phone call, when I rang James....he hadn't shown up. On Wed. morning the phone rang very early in the morning. Of course it was Paul, he was nearly in a panic to talk to me. He'd packed his bags that morning and was on his way to me! He was going to James's house that night and would ring me from there after work. (he had to go through the motions of a normal day so they would not suspect him of coming to me)

Late that night my phone rang...Paul was still in Blackpool, they had gone through his wallet and took the money he had there, so he had no money for bus fare or a taxi to James's. But, I was not to worry as he had a friend there that he could stay with and he would ring me the next morning just before he went to work. We both were so excited, he was to get on a train to London right after work and be on his way to me! When he didn't ring the next morning I was instantly terrified and just knew something was terribly wrong. I rang the shop only to hear his assistant on the line. I hung up without saying a word, I trusted no one at that point. James rang and was told that Paul was at home! (you can only imagine how pissed off I was at this point) 

About an hour later, James rang to say that he'd talked to Paul and that he truly was very, very ill. He had rung James when the old dragon (her mother) had gone out to get his prescription. Just after he had gotten off the phone with me, he had gone back to his friend, Stubsy's house and went to bed. About two in the morning he woke up in a hot sweat and was violently ill...vomiting, with severe diarrhea. One of the guys who shared the apartment heard him and rushed him to the hospital. He was in such intense pain that at first the doctors thought that his appendix had burst! It turned out that Paul had a severe case of gasteral interitis. (sorry about the spelling, I'm not a doctor. *L*) His pain was so bad that the doctors put him on morphine! They then loaded him into an ambulance and sent him home...well to the address listed in his wallet as such. So at four in the morning, this is what they awakened to. (there is justice in the world after all) 

I was not to talk to Paul for several long, lonely days. When he was finally well enough to venture out alone, he rang me and begged for my forgiveness and promised that he would get to me. ( I was skeptical, but loved him desperately. My friends on the other hand thought it was a pile of bullshit and warned and reminded me constantly) I honestly would have believed them but everything inside me screamed to be heard. He loved me! Why else would this man who lived 3746 miles away spend money that he did not have to ring me each and every day....three to four times if he did not care, love and have honest intentions? (now that would be asinine)

Paul returned to work and once again began the process of getting a plane ticket. Because it was a medical emergency, his ticket was still good. It was just a matter of being released by his doctor and booking a new flight. Woo hoo! Only it was not to be that simple...

When he went to the doctor, he was told that they had found a blockage in one of the veins in his leg and that they were going to have to operate. (he had told me of a vein in his leg that had been giving him trouble and causing him pain, but he had ignored the can be so stubborn at times) He was going to have the surgery the next week and would be off work recovering for two weeks afterward. (so I was to wait again...sigh) He rang me nearly every day while recovering; he had to walk as part of his therapy so had tons of opportunities.

It was around this time that I got another phone call from England. It was the mother in law again. (dumb dragon) It seemed that she found out that Paul was looking into airfares to Chicago. She told me that I could have him but that he would never leave England. She would have him met at the airport by police if she had to and that she only hoped that he didn't break my heart like he had her daughters. (yeah right, her precious daughter had been seen with her face pressed to the crotch of a seventeen year old line dancing instructor in a local club...aren't there laws against that sort of thing?)

She also told me that he only had two friends on the planet and that one was a paranoid agraphobic (afraid of open spaces) with a drug problem. I then calmly asked her what her point was. I informed her that it was there own fault that he had very few friends. They had their head so far up his ass, if he farted, they would die. They controlled every aspect of his life and probably knew what type and color underwear he had on right at that moment. Needless to say, she had nothing to say to that and we were not on the phone much longer. *grin* (I'm not a bitch, I just believe in defending myself) Paul of course was amused and told me all about the interesting conversation he had with them later on that night. (seems she didn't appreciate the underwear comment)

He phoned me one morning full of joy and love to tell me that he had booked another flight! He was going to James's to get the remaining money that he needed that night and would ring me when he got there. He never made it....

I woke up at five in the morning with an icy fear in my heart. I just knew something was not right. I rang the shop to find out why he hadn't rang the night before and why he also hadn't rang that morning before going into work, only to hear his assistant's voice on the phone. I had had enough! I asked to talk to Paul. When she asked who it was, I told her I was a college friend who had missed a class and was inquiring about the lecture. The phone was then handed to an unknown man who told me that he would be speaking to Paul that evening and would give him any message. (this was just one week before Thanksgiving and five days before his flight) I asked if he was ill. He told me that Paul was not good at all. There was such a finality to it if someone had died. I was in shock and complete terror grabbed my heart. I rang James and he in turn phoned the shop and talked to his assistant. (be skeptical if you like...god knows everyone else was *L*)

Here is what happened...

The night before (morning for me), literally minutes after talking to me on the phone, Paul had turned the lights off and was heading for the back of the shop to get his bag to go home ...when the door opened behind him. He turned to tell the person that the shop was closed, when they hit him in the head from behind. He was left there on the floor of his shop in a pool of blood. The only good thing of all of this is that Paul had already put the money in the hidden safe so the robber got nothing for his efforts! (some thief, nothing in the shop was disturbed...makes you think doesn't it?) He woke up on the blood-soaked floor about thirty minutes later and crawled to the phone to call the police. They rushed him to the hospital, where he was to remain for nearly a week. The day after this happened I came home from work to find a message on my machine from Paul. He sounded horrible....he told me that he loved me and would ring again.

I did not hear from him for eleven days and I nearly gave up. James tried ringing his house several times only to be told that the number had been changed! Because he would not leave his house, that was the only way he could get in touch with him.
My friends all said that I should give up and face reality...that he was not coming. But my heart would not let me!

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning....he rang. You can only imagine the relief that I felt upon hearing his voice and knowing that he was at least somewhat ok. He told me all that had happened and that he had to go to the doctor's that week and would find out when he could travel. He of course was very afraid of being in the shop alone, so did not return to work for several weeks. After going to the doctor, he rang me with the bad news. When he was hit in the head, his brain had slammed into his eye...therefore causing severe bruising on both, so there would have to be numerous tests to determine the damage and whether or not it was permanent. I was heartbroken...

Thus began a long, gut-wrenching period of waiting. One filled with numerous tests and doctor's appointments.

Christmas came and went. (the medication he was on made him terribly sick and he was not able to phone me) New Years found me alone and in tears, as he was sick again. We began the new year with hope! He told me to start sending things through the post again...he didn't care what anyone thought or said anymore. So for Valentine's Day, I sent him a tie...along with a box of goodies. It was around this time that I also began getting strange phone calls. Once a woman asked if it was me and then hung up! Other times as soon as I answered there would be no one there. I of course knew exactly who it was!

It was during an early morning conversation with Paul that he told me to remain calm, that he had something to tell me. Of course you can imagine the thoughts that raced through my mind. He said he'd over-heard a conversation between her and her mother regarding his passport. Apparently she'd reported it missing. The two of them joked about how funny it would be when he found out that his passport was no longer valid. (What they didn't know was that immediately following the first phone conversation with the dragon, Paul secretly removed his passport, driver's license and birth certificate from the house and gave them to James for safe keeping.) To say that I freaked out would be an understatement! He told me that he'd phoned the police department and was told that the incident had not yet been reported to the main office. It seems that they keep them in the local office for a few weeks just in case the passports are found. The missing passport report was cancelled and considered closed. They didn't have a was our ace in the hole, so to speak. (which explains why they were so furious later on. *grin*)

One night in early March, Paul called me sounding happier that I had heard him in months. He had finally been released by his doctor and was at long last coming to me! Just a few nights later, I received a call at work from the Dragon. She said she was very worried about Paul and that he was very ill. I told her that he had sounded fine on the phone to me earlier that day, then she told me they thought it might be a mental problem. She then asked if I had sent him a tie in the post along with a newspaper for Valentine's Day. I of course had nothing to hide anymore, so said "yes". I asked where he was. She told me he was downstairs, so I told her I wanted to talk to him. At first she insisted that he was too ill, then she told me that she told him I was on the phone and that he was too distraught to talk to me. I told her that I would not believe a word that came out of her mouth until I talked to him. (like I would anyway) 

I don't know who was more surprised, him or me when he picked up the phone. He was there in his house, in front of both her and the dragon...talking to me! He was upset because they had accused him of taking some money from their purses! (please...give me a break! It only amounted to like $5.00 for god's sake and he didn't take it!) Neither one of us really knew what was going on. I'm sure that when the Dragon rang, she had no idea the shit would hit the proverbial fan that night! They began to give him grief about running up the phone bill so I told him to give me the number and I would ring him back. When I did, she answered the phone. I had never talked to her before and was a bit taken aback by the whole thing! She told me that she only wanted the best for Paul and had one question for me before letting me talk to him. She asked the exact same question that her mother had! ( it seems that they honestly thought I had come back to England!) When he got on the phone, he asked me the question I had been dying to hear for months. "Do you want me?" He asked this while she sat no more than a few feet from him! He then told me that as soon as he could sort out his ticket...he was coming! At long's finally over!! Or so I thought....

He moved in with James a few days later and continued to work until his flight the next week. He did go and visit his son (against my better judgement. It's not his son that I didn't want him was them. I feared they would manipulate him into coming back.)

The morning that he caught the train was a very nervous one for me! He rang me from each and every stop...just to say he loved me. *smiles* Then he rang from the airport, just before getting on the plane. I was happier than I had ever been in my life!

Just before leaving on the five-hour journey to the airport to pick him up, I rang James to let him know that Paul had gotten on the plane. He told me that she had rung there that morning, just hours after Paul had left the ground, asking for him. His sister told her that Paul had gone to America. 


They honestly thought they'd prevented him from leaving the country! (remember the veiled threat from the dragon? "he'll never leave England").

She phoned both the American and British Embassies saying that he had abandoned her! What a crock of shit! She knew damn well where he was going...she just didn't know when. They told her it was a domestic matter; therefore it was not their business. I of course didn't know any of this until later on that night. The bus ride to the airport was long and stressful for me. I thought he would never come out of the terminal. And to top it all off...his plane was an hour late! When he walked through that gate, I felt as though the world had been lifted off my shoulders. He put his arms around me and held me for seemed ages! Nine long months had passed since that tearful goodbye at the train station. My heart at long last was to begin the healing process.

In the beginning she gave us tons of grief. But she finally realized that he was serious and was not coming back...also that there was nothing she could do to have him deported. She phoned us one morning to say that she'd filed for divorce and we would be receiving papers soon.

That was the end of our troubles with her.. thank God! She's accepted my existence and also that we are together (or so I thought, but that's another story...for another page)

Paul and I were married on September 9,1999. For anyone interested, our website is here.


Looking for Part One? It's here.