Sarah and Greg: After
having received a new computer for Christmas I logged onto a Christian
dating service. A friend of mine had dared me to, and since I can't say no
to a dare... >> Continued
She's From: ? He's From: ?
I met a guy over the internet sometime
I never asked or wanted to feel this way towards a person I've never
seen face to face.
We started to desire to talk to one another
constantly (at least I know I did). Our feelings grew extremely strong
and it became obvious that we loved each other in many ways. I couldn't
help this longing in my heart. In fact time after time I tried to
dismiss the feelings but it only failed. Now we talk as much as
possible. He tells me that someday in fact we will have each other to
hold and delight in one another's arms. I wish for that night after
I have so many choices in many different guys, but none could ever drive
me so crazy with passion like he does. I want him more than anything and
no matter how much I try to express it nobody understands that my heart
truly beats for this guy. They can't see the real need I possess for
him. There are many times that I feel he's the only person I feel
comfortable with telling even my deepest of secrets to. I can't even
tell my best friend Jodie the things I tell him. People wonder how I can
trust him so much and believe everything he tells me like I do. There is
just this deep trust I hold here with my heart. I can't explain it but
it's there. So what if he's an atheist and so what if he drinks. I'm
opposed to those things, but with him nothing can matter.
Not even my faith in God has pulled me back from this need. What does it
mean to need someone? When you can't or don't have them - doesn't that
mean you'll have something awful or even death happen to you? I am
sitting here so depressed and in pure misery because he's not here with
me. I indeed need him. I need him so I can find happiness and peace, so
I can have those things with him. Wouldn't it be awful if I were to
spend my whole life in pain because I never took that extra step to make
sure I'd be with him? I could even find death by my own hand in that.
The pain to end all.
Each night when I lay my head down a terrible fear runs through my mind.
What if he were to find somebody that he seems to love much more. Even
worse, what if he just doesn't love me anymore. How would I be able to
rise to the dawn each day knowing that the love of my life just doesn't
need me anymore? I know all people think I'm foolish and this is a phase
that fades away with the years, but I strongly know in my heart there is
nothing nor another soul that could draw me from this desperate desire I
have for Gregory...