Mars & Deborah 3:
As Deborah went to the departure hall to fly out of Adelaide I knew that the next few months were going to drag on slowly and that I would miss her like crazy. I just didnt want her to go but that was the reality of the situation. When she got back...
>> Continued
 

 

 
     
 

 
 

She's From:   United States
He's From:     United States

Okay....you have to read this story to understand everything, so you might as well sit back and get comfortable.

  Jessica and Phil when they finally got to meet in person
  Phil got the easy way out on this one (AS USUAL--and you know what I'm talkin about babe)...so I am stuck with writing out "The Story". I wish you could have heard the sigh that just came over me hehe. Oh well. Here we go... 

I signed up at this site called Hot-Or-Not, and posted my picture up at FIRST on a dare. Well, it was more like a competition to see who got a higher rating. Me....or my friend. :) At the time, I was single, and after I started seeing what the site was about, I got out of the "competition" mindset, and started using it as more of a personal site. YES...it was beyond cheesy. Basically, if a guy saw your picture, and vice versa, that person would click a button to email you, and if you liked what you saw, you'd click back...and you'd have what they like to call, "a match".

 

 



   

 

 
       
 

LOL...this really IS a ridiculous way of going about things, but I grew quickly attached. It actually started to be pretty fun.  After awhile I started hating it because I couldn't open my mailbox without seeing AT LEAST 50 emails from the Hot-Or-Not site, saying that "so and so" wanted to "meet" me. I was just about ready to cancel out everything because my email box was getting insane. I didn't even respond to half these people only because I was starting to get confused, and I didn't know who was who...LOL, it was hilarious. So I would just read what they had to say in response to my picture, and that was pretty much it for me. The day I got Phil's email was April 24, 2001. There were about 30-40 other ones I looked at from my email. So he was unfortunately just "another one", because I couldn't keep my head straight lol. 

I emailed him back with my AOL screen name....but I did that with a lot of these. I like to TALK to people. If I'm gonna meet someone, I'm not gonna keep emailing back and forth. So I would tell whoever to just im me on my name, and we'll talk. So that night, my ims were just completely making me lose it, between the hot-or-not guys, and my friends in general....I had to start blocking people. Amidst all of this, PHIL decides to IM me out of nowhere. At first I didn't even answer him, I had too many people talking to me. So he imed me again. And I just told him to give me a second. Then he stopped, and I just forgot about him. LOL, it sounds SO mean now that I think about it, but I was swarmed with ims. The next night, I had the same problem. But Phil imed me AGAIN. I recognized the screen name from the night before, and I was like--okay let me just talk to this guy. So we start talking, and I started to actually LIKE talking to him. Now everything else that went on from then till the end of maybe the first 3 weeks or so, is basically just getting to know each other, getting closer and so on. 

I started doing a weblog around those 3 weeks, just because I was starting to feel things for this guy....who I had never met, and only seen pictures of. And I thought I was losing my mind, so I needed to just write everything down. Maybe it would eventually make sense. Hehe. Anyway, these entries are VERY important to the completion of this story, and unfortunately if you want to fully understand our relationship, you gotta read these. Some are short, some are long, but please make sure you read them. LOL...some are a bit personal, hehe, but whatever...I'm not shy. ;P So I'm starting this with my first ever entry....and then you could read the rest....


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Web Log [5/12/2001 11:30:06 AM]

Since my love for writing has gotten a bit extreme over the years, I figured a blog (weblog) would be perfect for lil ole me. Just type away and post. No restrictions on size limit, no blurred out words that just aren't so good for those virgin ears out there, and no specific topic choice. Freedom of speech baby. Definitely my kind of website. So since I'm here, let me start the intriguing. Enter Phil. Yeah....Phil. My Cali boy. Ya know when I was little I wanted to go be an actress out in California. Okay random and besides the point. So yeah, anyway. Why is it that someone can come into your life in a split second, and you are absolutely hooked? It's so hard to understand it, but it happens I guess. Completely taking me by surprise one night, Phil decided to send me a little message that, at the time, I never realized what impact it would have later on. "Hey". Yeah, that's it. That's the tiny word that sparked everything inside of me to wake up out of nowhere. Ridiculous right? But see, at that moment, it was just a simple "hey". I didn't know this guy. I didn't even know his name was Phil. All I knew was that he wanted to talk to me. Being the busy online fiend that I am, I ignored him at first. Bitch? Maybe. Just trying to clear out the 50 other messages that took over my computer screen? Yeah that's more like it. So I kindly tell this "Phil" character to give me a few minutes, cause I was busy. Cause you know I just ASSUME that he has nothing better to do than wait for my stupid ass to grace him back with a simple message. Apparently, I was right. ;) Finally got rid of enough people so I could stay sane, and we started to talk. Slowly though, I noticed myself telling other people I had to go, or that I was way too busy to talk....just so I could talk to this Cali boy that I had known for the past 10 minutes. Finally having blocked EVERYONE out, I got down to the one on one with Phil. Completely passing over every last detail from that day till now, it's now May 12th, almost 3 weeks from the tiny "hey". The hey that I thought was just gonna be an online quickie out of boredom. No pun intended of course...why do I have to be so perverted? ;) But now it's an even bigger hey. That first hey quickly moved to "HEY!!" (see, that's the "excited to talk to you" hey, hehe), and who could forget to mention the "You're on my mind all day", and the "I want to see you so bad", and of course, the "I miss you baby" typings that I immediately grew attached to. Why is that? 3 weeks, and I have literally fallen for a guy that I would have never known existed, if he wasn't so damn persistent in iming me ;) And yes, I thank you so much for that Phil. (Cause I know you're reading this right now). Hehe. I have no idea what is going to happen in the next 3 weeks again, or even in the next 3 months. But I know that I have never felt this way about any person that has come into my life, and I am absolutely loving it. ;)

Web Log [12:58:26 PM]

Sitting here at work, bored to death, and one thing on my mind. No not THAT thing. Geez, and I thought that I was the perverted one. ;) Really now. Besides the fact that I am so hungry I am about to go ahead and eat my finger, hehe....all I can think about is Phil. Maybe it's cause I never see him and that's why he is always on my mind. Cause there is that constant sense of wondering. But I don't think that's it. No, it's not. The fact that I have such a connection with him....that's what is so weird to me. I mean really now, beside the fact that he is just identical to what I look for in a guy (because it's sick how much he is), who in their right mind thinks White Tigers are the best animals in the world?? ;) (I know you're laughing right now baby, but you know it's so true, hehe) Do you even KNOW how many damn animals there ARE in this world?? So I'm sayin. The little things that are coincidentally popping up as the two of us being ridiculously similiar.....it's all too weird. Finishing each other's sentences, knowing what the other is gonna say before they actually do....call me crazy, but it's not normal. Okay well maybe it's actually VERY normal to the other 50 million people falling into an unexpected internet "romance", if you will...and I am just at the beginning of getting used to it. But until I figure out why the hell I have been feeling this way, I'll still be confused on the issue. 


Web Log [5/13/2001 11:32:05 AM]

Sitting here at work, bored to death, and one thing on my mind. No not THAT thing. Geez, and I thought that I was the perverted one. ;) Really now. Besides the fact that I am so hungry I am about to go ahead and eat my finger, hehe....all I can think about is Phil. Maybe it's cause I never see him and that's why he is always on my mind. Cause there is that constant sense of wondering. But I don't think that's it. No, it's not. The fact that I have such a connection with him....that's what is so weird to me. I mean really now, beside the fact that he is just identical to what I look for in a guy (because it's sick how much he is), who in their right mind thinks White Tigers are the best animals in the world?? ;) (I know you're laughing right now baby, but you know it's so true, hehe) Do you even KNOW how many damn animals there ARE in this world?? So I'm sayin. The little things that are coincidentally popping up as the two of us being ridiculously similar.....it's all too weird. Finishing each other's sentences, knowing what the other is gonna say before they actually do....call me crazy, but it's not normal. Okay well maybe it's actually VERY normal to the other 50 million people falling into an unexpected internet "romance", if you will...and I am just at the beginning of getting used to it. But until I figure out why the hell I have been feeling this way, I'll still be confused on the issue. 
I have so much work that needs to get friggin done today....all this accounting crap. But I've recently noticed that I have a strange addiction to this Blogger crap, or whatever. So I'm taking a 5 minute break just to clear my head (since I can't go tanning right now hehe), and I figured I'd stop in here to write some more. So anyways yeah, uhh... I had such a bad night last night. I don't know what came over me. I just got so afraid, but out of nowhere. I keep thinking of all these things with Phil, and honestly they are all just freaking me out. As stupid and as crazy as this sounds, cause I know it sounds just absolutely ridiculous.....my heart feels like it found its best friend. That is really the truth. I don't know any better way to put it. I mean, I believe there is a reason for everything, and I STRONGLY believe that there is someone out there for everyone. And I know that I was meant to meet Phil. I KNOW this because of how I feel. And I've said this more than once before when it comes to him, but I have never been more serious. The smile that automatically crosses my face when I just THINK of him....I don't know how to explain it. He could just say something about "us", and my stomach flips like when you're 5 yrs old and so excited about something. ;) It's the weirdest thing. Or even just when we talk, and I get this stupid glow about me. Everyone I know sees it too. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. LOL. Apparently though it's something. Cause they have been coming up to me asking me what's going on, telling me I look like I'm on Cloud 9, even my mother has said I've been a lot more thoughtful with my "siblings". Hehe. I'm like, I don't know what you people are talking about. ;) Even though I DO know. ;) My heart though. It's soooo weird. Besides the fact that it hurts because he's so far away, and I have all these visions in my head of how it could be, but it's not.......my heart is so happy. Quick story ;) .....I had a recent boyfriend named Joey, and we dated for 7 months. I THOUGHT he was my first love. I really really felt this way. But the way I felt about him as a person, and how I "loved" his friendship, and just his "way".......there is no comparison to how I feel with Phil. I'm not gonna go into 2 hour long detail on that, but I know how I feel. Whatever it may be. I don't like to question my feelings. Especially when they're about caring for someone. I should just know, and leave it at that. So that's what I'm gonna do. Leave those feelings where they are and not bother them hehe. I just can't stop thinking about how amazing it could be with him. I can't believe how much I can write on here about this situation. It's just not like me. 


Web Log [5/14/2001 10:13:00 PM]

Okay I'm really bored. I can only do so much with this web camera thing, and its not fun anymore. Hehe, I don't know, never mind. I'm hungry though (what else is new....geez thank God I'm not like 200 pounds, right?) Ya know something, these birth control pills SUCK big time. I think I cried 3 times today for no apparent reason at all. Someone could look at me wrong and I'll start bawling. It's awful. I hate being a girl as it is. Not to mention that its even worse when you're getting a double dosage of your friggin girl hormones and everything is up in the air. Ughh, I can't deal. LOL, look at how stressed out I am!?!? I'm making myself neurotic for God's sake. Oh well. So Phil is online right now but he isn't talking to me cause he has work to do. I hate that he's online and I can't talk to him. This is killing me, you just don't know, hehe....I swear. Anyways, what else. Ummm......my boobs hurt. LOL. My God, I can't even begin to tell you. Can you imagine when I get pregnant years from now?? I will be complaining left and right. That's all I do, I'm such a baby. I have to stop this. But they hurt cause these damn pills. I thought they were supposed to be good pills. So far all I am is just annoyed lol. Plus I miss Phil so much. I want to be with him like RIGHT NOW. Just laying on the beach with candles around us, looking at the stars....a nice breeze.... (not too nice that it blows out the candles lol), and just having him hold me, and play with my hair, and kiss me, and just block out everything in the world for that second except me and him, just together. WOW, the smile that just crossed my face. Can't even go there right now ;) What is WITH me?!?! This is insane! Jessica, you KNOW this is absolutely ridiculous. You never get like this, and oh my God I just realized I'm talking to myself. Holy shit. LOL, I have to shutup. What the HELL is wrong with you!? Aghh, I did it again! STOP IT. LOL, oh my goodness. This is nuts. I can't get him off my mind. I try SO hard to, but it never works. All I do is think about him. No matter what it is that I'm doing, it's always him. NO, I'm not DOING HIM. LOL although..... ---okay okay we wont go there. I'm so bad I have to cut that out. The thought that just went through my head....DAMN. Okay stop. LOL. I MISS HIM so much. It's just that I've never felt this way before, and it's the most amazing feeling. To know that there is someone out there that you care so much about, and they feel the same way, it's so nice. That means so much to me. I started thinking again about the whole soul-mate thing. I wish I knew WHY he came into my life, aside from the ever so helpful "hot or not" ordeal. I wish I knew the underlying reason. Heh look at me with the big words ;) But it's true though. You don't know why people are placed in your path, but they are there for reasons. Sometimes it's ex boyfriends that were purposely supposed to meet you just to hurt you, so that way you would learn the feeling of pain, and at the same time get stronger. And then there are friends that are put in your path to just backstab you, so you would learn about trust, and realize who your TRUE friends are. And sometimes it's just complete strangers that enter your life out of NOWHERE, but leave the biggest imprint on your heart. And now I'm just trying to understand where exactly he fits in. All I know for SURE is that this whole Jess/Phil thing, and whatever it's intended to be in the end....I'll be able to understand as soon as I look at him. Cause I know. And my heart knows. If I look in his eyes, and I feel a sense of completion, then I know the answer to my question. But until then I'm not saying one word about that hehe. Cause I'll just depress myself. So. Basically, that's what I'm saying. Hmm, he just went to eat dinner. Yeah cause it's like 7:00 by him. And I'm still starving. Hehe. Maybe I'll eat something now too. K. I'm out. 


Web Log [5/15/2001 10:46:42 PM]

I can't believe that I haven't written in this all day. I'm not loyal, but hey, I also have a life ya know. ;) Anyhow, I talked to Phil today, and he said the sweetest thing to me. First off, I was kind of just in a bla mood, yeah I said bla...hehe just cause we have been busy doing things, and we talk every once in awhile, as opposed to all the time. WOW--there's a run-on sentence if I ever saw one ;) Personally, I just can't get enough of him, and if I could talk to him 24/7 - - I would. So cut to the chase, I just casually mentioned to him that I haven't talked to him in awhile. Granted I talk to this guy everyday, but like I said...."awhile" in my terms means like in the past 3 hours. ;) So I guess I was kinda bummed just because I absolutely LOVE talking to him. So I'm sitting here just telling him this stuff, and he went and said just the sweetest thing to me. He goes, "It doesn't matter how many times a day I talk to you or not. You are still always in my head and in my HEART." Okay yeah, pills getting to me, I nearly cried. LOL, I swear. So I just smiled to myself, controlled my girly emotions the best I could, and I was happy. My heart actually was lifted because of how happy I was when he said that. LOL, you'd think he asked me to marry him or something, with the way I can go on about a little thing like this. But to me it means a lot. And it's even better coming from him. ;) Something happened to me tonight too, that has to do with him. Well sort of. I was sitting on my couch watching tv and a show came on like Dateline or something. And for some reason, he popped in my head, and with that came like this huge vision of "us". Now I'm not gonna go into detail about what exactly came to my head, but it made me cry as soon as it hit me. Yeah the pills have little help with that effect that I've been dealing with lol. But this was actually real. And I pictured this in my head, and it was VERY real. And the fact that I said to myself right then that I had never "saw" this with anyone else that has come into my life. But for some reason tonight, what I saw was with him. And like I said, I'm not saying another word about what it was, because that's just for me to know. And I don't know if I will ever tell him. But if I do, it will be sometime in the future. Not now. Well I just wanted to note that for my own reasons, so now I'm done I guess. Boring night. I'm out. 


Web Log [5/16/2001 11:11:14 PM]

Okay I feel so shitty right now. I said some stuff to Phil tonight, and now I really regret it. I don't like having regrets. I hate them. But this time its really getting to me. I told him how much I cared about him, and how in my heart I truly know how I feel. But see, that's the bad part. I actually was going to tell him everything I felt, but I refused to. I KNOW how he would react, and I know what he would say. And that's why I've been putting it off. Not to mention it would probably ruin everything we may have, and I didn't want to risk that. I'm completely making this sound like what I feel is such a terrible thing. But it's the total opposite. He just kept bugging me and bugging me to tell him what I had to say. But I just couldn't. I knew he would freak, because I know how he feels about certain things. And I feel so bad because it looks like I am hiding something from him, and I tell him everything. So this little "secret" or whatever the hell you wanna call it, is making me feel like shit. I just kept trying to dance around things that basically summed up every feeling I have for him. And at first I know he had no idea what I was going to tell him, but then after awhile I just got annoyed. Because its something so important to me, because its MY feelings for someone, and then he just said, "its okay, fine, i understand, fine." And then that scared the hell out of me cause I know it hit him. He's not a stupid guy. 
Reading this damn web log thing right now anyone could figure out what the hell I was talking about. Doesn't take a brain surgeon. So then I tried to figure out if he really had an idea about what I wanted to tell him, and if I know him as well as I think I do.....then he got the idea. I just didn't want to tell him. And I wish I never even told him THAT much...and that was nothing lol. But it totally made me look like an idiot. Because I know I ruined so much stuff just from the conversation we had tonight. And I wish I never even would have HINTED at anything. I'm such an ass though. I really am. He kept telling me, just tell me just tell me. And I told him, NO, you DON'T want to make me tell you this Phil. Bla bla bla. So much good that did. I didn't tell him anything but I still made myself look stupid, not to mention I know he figured everything out. But ya know what, in a way I'm proud of myself. I'm happy that I stood by my word and refused to tell him anything. Regardless of what he may THINK he knows. I still never actually SAID anything ;) Hehe. For real though. All I'm saying is that this guy just makes me crazy. Hehe, in a good way. ;) The feelings that have built up for him are just unreal. But they ARE real, I just never felt them before. WHATEVER they may end up being later. That's why I need to see him in the worst way. Because it will help me so much to know whether or not the stuff I feel is for real, or if its just a "safe" escape for me from my closer relationships. And this is why I need to be with him. Face to face. No more phone to phone crap lol. Just look in his eyes, and that will tell me everything. Maybe I'll HATE what it actually tells me, ya never know. But whatever it does tell my heart, I'll feel much better knowing. I dont like lies, and I live for honesty. If I'm feeling a certain way about him, I have got to be honest with myself and make sure what I'm feeling is real. And that can't happen to a full extent till I'm with him. And funny thing is, I know EXACTLY how I feel, I know EXACTLY the stuff I would accidentally blurt out to him because I feel so strongly about it, and I know EXACTLY why he came into my life. I have absolutely no doubts when it comes to Phil. But I have doubts when it comes to me. And ya know something. Screw it. The thing I wanted to tell him about tonight WILL eventually be said. And I don't care if he wants to hear it or not. I'm not going to deny my feelings because of the situation not being exactly a normal one. So like I said, one day I will tell him face to face, and what he chooses to respond with is completely up to him. Be it good or bad. And that is the end of that. 


Web Log [5/17/2001 12:53:38 PM]

I'm leaving for my lunch break in a few minutes, and this whole thing with Phil is still really bothering me. A LOT. I told Theresa today what I have been wanting to tell Phil. And I'm like, "Do you think I'm absolutely insane that I'm feeling this way?" And she said, "Not at all Jess. I know how much you care about him, and wanting to tell him that is not insane or whatever." But she also said that if it was HER, she wouldn't tell him right now. Just as I figured. I KNEW I did the right thing by not telling him. Because like I said, I KNOW how he feels about this, and it would kill me to tell him something and have him not be able to tell me anything back because either he doesn't feel the same way, OR just for his own reasons.....or for the complete obvious that it may just have freaked him out. (Phil, if you don't know by now what the hell I'm talking about, then there's nothing else I can do but TELL YOU...and thats not gonna happen right now hehe.) And not to mention the fact that I still think I'm losing my mind over this whole situation and my feelings and how they are so damn strong and whatever. As it may be. I PURPOSELY told myself when I first started talking to him...okay just take it day by day, don't have any expectations, you may end up with a great friend for the rest of your life here, ya never know. AND THEN, what the hell?? 
All these friggin feelings just appeared from absolutely nowhere, and I was left with my heart feeling in ways it's NEVER felt for anyone. How could I feel this way about someone I've never met?? I swear I think I'm going crazy. And it pisses me off. Cause I know what I'm feeling is for real. When I talk to Theresa about him, and how I feel, I NEVER say "I think....", because deep down I just know. She makes me laugh though because she just keeps telling me, "oh but it's all so romantic." I'm like yeah. Romantic my ass. It's torture. UGHH. I have never been so mad in my life. And I'm not even mad at anyone lol. I'm just mad that I put myself in the situation. THAT'S what I'm pissed off at. I voluntarily knew what I was doing, and I friggin went ahead anyway and got to know him. WAIT. Wait wait. Ya know what though? I never in my right mind ever thought that I would fall for him. NEVER. I never even thought that I would actually be looking at my future and seeing this complete stranger IN IT. I mean, all I knew is that he thought I was hot. LOL. Or whatever he thought I don't know. Cause of the stupid hot or not site. And that was it. So I can't technically be mad at myself because I never KNEW it would get this serious. ;) Yeah go me. Hehe. So as for what I had to tell you Phil.......baby, it's obvious. I know you're not stupid. I know you can figure it out if you haven't already. I'm still not gonna tell you until I'm actually with you. And even then I don't know if I would tell you. All because I'm a big baby, hehe, and I'm afraid to hear what would come out of your mouth right back at me. I don't know. It's how I feel, I can't help that even if I wanted to. So hopefully this little thing made you figure it out. And hopefully you'll see why I CAN'T physically tell you. Because I'm afraid. And like you've said to me before, which also made me question my feelings when I shouldn't have......it's not something you just throw around

Web Log [5/18/2001 12:45:21 PM]


Alrighty, here we go. After last night's dramatic episode of the wonderful life of Jessica, I don't see how I'm gonna be able to top this post today. Phil (who I know is reading this right now, hehe) said something last night that I never thought he would say. Apparently I was wrong. He said what I've been waiting to hear from him since I knew that I felt this way. He told me he loved me. :) I can't even begin to go into detail with just how happy I was when he said this. I don't even think there are words to describe it. Hehe. But it completely shocked me all together anyway. I don't remember that much, but I know I was just babbling away like I have a tendency to do way too much hehe. And I just got annoyed, so I said, okay lets start with the basics, are we on the same page, do we feel the same way, bla bla bla. And completely interrupting me, all of a sudden I hear, Jessica I love you. Ummm, yeah. Talk about shutting me up. That's a first lol. ;) I was in total shock. I tried to talk, but nothing came out hehe, and I was like, uhh, okay. Yeah wow. Hehe. I seriously couldn't say anything. Even though I knew what I was going to say, because in my heart I know it's how I feel. But I could NOT SAY IT. I felt so bad not saying anything back to him. Hehe, I think I was just so taken back hearing those words, I was speechless. A very RARE event that happens to me on occasion as we all know. ;) 
So yeah. I literally felt my heart just light up. It just sucks though. Cause when he said it, I was just so happy that I wanted to grab him and kiss him, hehe. (yeah that would have been nice babe huh lol).....but I had to just sit there and take it all in by myself. Oh well. Hehe then this was so cute though. Out of nowhere, he started getting all weird after that. I guess it didn't help that I didn't say it back to him. I would have been questioning everything too. So I forgot how it started but he's like, "Well did you not want me to say it? Are you mad at me? But I want to make sure that, bla bla bla". It was hilarious. So he's just going on and on now I guess doubting what he said. And I must have said his name like 3 times, trying to interrupt his little "fit"......and finally I was just like "PHIL!". Hehe. And he's like, "what". It was so cute. So I just said "I love you too". And then this huge smile just crossed my face, like it always does when I talk to him...but this time it was different. I feel so relieved like I got this huge thing off my shoulders. I mean really now. There's only so much you could do about really caring for someone. And knowing about a certain extra thing that you are feeling, and are just afraid to tell that person...it sucks. So I felt much better hehe. And now, I have to find a way to to get to see him. It's KILLING ME inside to know that I have feelings for someone, and I can't physically show them :( Why do I have to like kissing so much?? LOL. Not to mention everything else like cuddling, and hugging, and just laying in someone's arms and falling asleep....and UGHHHH. I'm gonna make myself really mad right now so I have to stop. Hehe. It's just not fair. But ya know what, I am not just gonna throw something like this away because of a tiny (okay well maybe a little more than tiny hehe) thing called "DISTANCE". I just won't. Because this is real, and I'm not about to ruin it, and give up on what chances we "may" have. Ya know? Okay I'm done....time to go to lunch in like 10 minutes. I am way beyond starving hehe. But gotta watch the figure LOL. Oh geez....like I actually listen to my advice. PSHHH, RIGHT. When I'm hungry, I eat dammit. LOL. Okay I'm out. 

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OKAY....there are plenty more of these, but I think you've read enough LOL. I warned you before....you had to read these to understand where we are at right now. So skipping over from this last entry till now.... 

We are VERY happy together. Although it's VERY hard to keep up a long distance relationship like ours...being that we ARE 3,000 miles away, we do what we can. We talk every day, at LEAST 5 times a day. Without communication this relationship would be hard to take in. It's funny, because even though we both know we are soul-mates, the people around us notice it too. Family members, friends, they all feel that this is it. That we make a beautiful couple, and cannot be happier for us. Granted at first they thought we lost our minds hehe, but once they saw our happiness, and what we are able to give to each other, they also started to feel the same way. And like I said, I'm moving out to California after November. So after that, we can finally be happy for good I guess. :) I know that that I'm supposed to be out there. I know that he's the one. And we BOTH know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We've never been happier. 

"Jessica"

>> Continued in Part Two