We have a lot of things in common, a whole lot, we talk almost everyday via the internet & all for over 7 months now. We have sent letters by post too. When I first met Omar, I was like ok another random person from ICQ has messaged me, so we had talked then, & he went ahead & emailed me, he says it's because he felt that we had to be friends, I think, now, that it's because he is a Godsend.

So I was drawn back at first but I continued talking to him anyhow; we now talk daily for hours upon hours along with phone calls too.

He knows about my awful past with boys, he knew that I didn't have any trust in ANY BOY at the time, I was hurt in the past by an ex (the only boy I've ever loved, I thought) & he had cheated & it really hurt me.

I thought I was in love with him, but since meeting Omar I have wondered about my feelings, the way Omar makes me feel is not even expressible by words & is a feeling I have never had with any other male before, but I like this feeling so much, I live for it & it is nothing compared to how an ex ever made me feel, so this is why I think maybe I wasn't IN LOVE with him, but just loved him as a good friend & felt I had to love him because he had loved me & we were together. I felt because of that I decided to feel for him but those feelings weren't pure. I felt for him because I wanted to, I feel for Omar because I don't have a choice. Love has no limits.

The thing that got me to Omar is that, of all the boys I've ever been with, up until the ex that cheated, I was the one that worked on the relationship, I would try hard for things to work & I would like try to push on how I wanted things to go in the relationship, but ever since the cheater ex, I have totally changed.

I no longer pushed for any relationship, of any kind, with any boy, at all. I saw it in my mind to just either "play" (use) boys or just don't talk to them. And that's what I was doing, ooppss I forgot my age, I'm 19; But then I met Omar, & meeting him has changed my life around, I thank God for him everyday though.

I don't know if you'll believe in "signs" but I do, & a lot was happening between us, like everyday, I will tell you one... I dedicated a song called "the light" to him, & since then we would tell each other that we are like a light to each other, anyway, so we were talking one day & I told him that if we have kids, it would be a girl first, because I had had a dream that we had had a girl child so he had asked me if I knew who Queen Noor was & I said yes, she's the queen of Jordan, so I went on to say that I had always loved that name & when I was younger I had planned to name my daughter that, if I had one, he then admitted to me that Noor meant "light" in his country. That did it.

And just like that he totally changed me, ever since that day, he admitted to me that Noor meant light in his country. That did it. I was so surprised at this, I still am and that was just one of the many signs, & if your like me & believes in "signs" this can mean a lot. From early in our relationship Omar had told me that he felt more for me than I was probably thinking.

Yup he had gone & fell in love with me, I would usually run from any boy that I felt was getting too close to me or my feelings rather. But he was getting there, he loved me, he told me, but I did not run, I couldn't.

I tell him this everyday that he has forever changed my life. Anyway To cut a long story short... Returning the loving feeling didn't come easy for me, but it came. It just hit me one day after we were talking online. All I can say is that I had promised myself that if I EVER fell in love again with any boy, I would have to marry him, because of how I had felt towards boys in the past, so will I marry Omar?:-)

I really feel that he changed me, I know he did, I am now in love with him, & I like us as it is, because we have never physically met as yet, & that just makes me feel that we have a real bond based on our personalities most importantly, that's probably the main good thing about people "Hooking" up over the internet. Their friendships to me, are more true & strong, or should be.

Now we are both in love with each other, I don't know how I was able to feel so strongly towards him, knowing that we are different, as in cultures, race, family but I know that the love we share is very similar, I love him & I will put a lot of stuff after this love. It is amazing how I always thought that me falling in love again, would be impossible, but a boy from way across the world, was able to make me feel this way.

We are at the stage now, that all we look at is the future, at least mostly, both of us want to be with each other, it's just the "how?" I think will need a lot of working on. I am really willing to alter my future plans towards this relationship & I know Omar is too. He is coming here in July to visit and we will finally get to meet, physically, and I know that this will be a good thing for us. I used to think that if I was to start a serious relationship with Omar, that it would take a lot from me, because I saw that if we should fall apart it'll be because of me, either liking another boy or just getting frustrated. That hasn't happened yet, I have met boys that have appealed to me since I've met Omar, but once getting to know them I've realized that they couldn't compare to Omar, they can't. The Frustration has happened, but Omar has been able to cure that too.

I've realized that for us to further our relationship that it will take a lot on my part, but everything can be done if I try I guess. I am soooo ready & willing to try. I know Omar is right for me. He has said that he will wait for me for whatever, but I really don't see me going anywhere permanently with any other boy, if we get more serious with this, it will be hard, but he made me love again & that is even harder. I know that interracial couples can face a lot of problems with other people especially in public, but I guess when you have love, nothing really matters. I have love.

"Jamaican Girl"