At the time I wasn't sure where to go to find one, and I have mindspring and my friend had aol, so I asked him to go and get me one. So he gave me the address of this guy, gave his age, and said he lived in England. So I e-mailed and asked if he'd be my penpal. 

Well the first e-mail I got back from him wasn't the nicest thing I've ever gotten, but he later explained that it was about the 80th e-mail he had gotten asking him to be their penpal. So I wrote him back and kind of told him off and he wrote back saying he was sorry, etc, and that he'd love to be my penpal. So we started talking.

It was slow at first, he'd only be on aol occasionally, but we cleared out info about ourselves and what we liked at first. Then he got more frequent with his e-mails and I started talking to him through Instant messenger. We never ran out of things to say to each other. Those conversations could last forever. It was just fun. No cybersex or anything, it was just pure fun talking to him about random stuff. So then he asked for my address so he could send a letter with a picture, and at first I was pretty skeptical...i mean you always hear about those 60 year old online stalkers that live in attics. But I got over it and gave it to him.

About 7 days later I got a letter w/ a pic. in it. I thought he was adorable. So I got up the courage and sent him a letter and picture too. He told me I looked great and everything so we got that out of the way. We talked, telling each other what we wouldn't tell anyone else, and became best friends. We stayed like that for awhile, but slowly we started w/ the romantic flirting and ended everything with love you, i love you, love always, things like that. We started flirting and using innuendos and you could tell we were headed in the romance direction.

Finally, about 7 months after talking to him only online and through snailmail I gave him my number so he could call me. He did and oh man I was nervous.. but after the first few minutes I got comfortable and we had a great conversation for about an hour. His accent was amazing.. then we continued talking through the phone occasionally (it costs so much money!) and I treasure that. We got more and more comfortable and started saying I love you regularly, even on the phone. Him and I date other people, since we're an ocean away, but we're never happy. It always ends nastily and we end up going back to one another and talking about it.

And the other night I was talking to him and I told him he was settling for less than he deserved w/ the women he dated.. and then he said- "I know. Why am I settling for less when I can have you?" I should be meeting him this summer.. its one of those relationships you have to put on hold. It just figures that the man I'm in love with lives 3000 miles away.

We both have the mutual feeling that if we were only closer to each other, we'd be together. He once said that "Everything we do together, either here or there, will be perfect." I'm willing to wait for him.. I love him so much and when I meet him, I won't have to settle for less.

"Gweneth"

>> Continued in Part Two