Nina: It's strange how things happen... you
are trudging through the mundane weary lanes of life when suddenly,
out of nowhere, love walks in and touches your life in a way that you
know that nothing could ever be the same again...
She's From: Australia He's From: United States
My life has been sad in a lot of ways and
I lived my real life fantasizing that everything was alright.
collage of photos made by Doreen
for her cyberlove
I believed that my true love and I were
destined to find each other. We didn't meet on a chat line we met on ICQ
I used ICQ as a link to friends and
family whom I had left behind in Cairns when I moved to Brisbane. I left
my ex partner (we were never married) after 10years and 2 children, 2
domestic violence orders and a drug and alcohol addiction (his not mine)
that left me drained emotionally and financially. I had been in Brisbane
for 4 months. I was working and exercising, loving my children and my
Things inside of me were finally starting
to feel good again. I got a message on day while online in ICQ.. it was
a simple hello.
I searched the profile and saw this man was from New
York.. how exotic i thought. I said hi and we started talking about his
place where he was living and of all things talked about washing
machines. He was funny and it was nice to chat in general about normal
everyday things. I later found out that he was online looking for people
in his area to chat with... my name kept popping up on his search screen
and eventually he had to respond.
Over the next 2 months we chatted off and
on as friends. We eventually talked about our children and our past.
Anthony was his name and after a long emails and internet chats all on
ICQ, we started to phone each other. I fell in love with him when he
read me the most amazing story ( "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein)
on the phone one day when I was sick .. that also was our first ever
All those feelings over the next few months through our phone calls and
our chats... giving him my phone number.. will we ever meet? .. the
emotions and the words going though my mind "what am I doing?" the first
time he said he loved me ... The questions of 'am i mad??' .. and then
the decision to travel to a state half way across the world to meet him
I can never explain all of my story, our spiritual connection for
example.. dreaming of things we are doing at the time they happen, and
the feeling of knowing each other so well the feelings of how we were
meant to meet.. the signs of things unexplained like the date i arrived
and its significance to both of us in the past totally unplanned... the
amazing connection with his mom when I finally met her.
I had to meet him so bad...I didn't have the money and my mum helped me
to get there to meet him. I flew to New York to spend Christmas and new
year with him and his family (the song that is ours is Mariah Carey's..
"all I want for Christmas is you" (he sent me this cd before I left)...
that song still makes me cry. I wasn't interested in seeing anything i
just wanted to spend every moment with him. We knew what it was going to
be like when we saw each other for that very first time only it was
better than either of us thought it would be.
I was at the back of the plane when it landed and I couldn't get off
quick enough climbing over seats to get to the other side that was
moving more quickly. The agony of the time ticking by as I was going
through customs then finally I walked out and recognised him immediately
and the smile that came across his face stayed the whole 3 weeks I was
there. He gave me the biggest hug and then a little kiss and I could see
how nervous he was just as much as me. We walked out of the airport and
I couldn't stop looking at him and I could see in his eyes how happy he
was and we talked and talked and never stopped.
The chemistry was incredible and we were inseparable for the 3 weeks I
was there. Never once in the moments of meeting in the moments after
making love at anytime did he or I feel uncomfortable.. it was magic
from the moment we met on ICQ and it was a dream from the moment I saw
him in person. He proposed on the day we spent sightseeing in NYC on top
of the Empire State building 2 days before I left...and I accepted. I
left to return home on the 5th Jan 2001 we both cried all the way from
his place in upstate New York to the airport and for 2 solid hours
there.. he cried after and I cried all the way home - I was so upset I
broke down before getting on the flight and just didn't stop... I never
cried so much or felt so empty in all my life.
I think the most significant thing with regards to my wonderful love
story is the fact that I have 2 children and was in an abusive
relationship for 10 years. I was not looking for love when we met. He
also has two children and has been divorced for 6 years. I was never
married and never wanted marriage in my life. He commits his time as a
volunteer firefighter and works night shifts at a big well known company
in New York. Our children are almost the same age and our daughters look
undeniably like twins. So much so that his own brother mistook my
daughter in a photo as his niece.
I returned to Australia with no idea what to do with my life now. All I
knew was that we had to be together somehow. You could imagine my
problem being a mum with 2 kids .. the oceans between us seemed a
lifetime away I needed to do so much to leave and spend my life with him
the pain and the thoughts were unbearable at times. Anthony had worked
for 12 yrs with the fire service and travelled 3.5 hrs each way to see
his children every other weekend. It was a very difficult situation for
both of us to know what to do.
We talked a lot when I got back to Brisbane and it was so hard not to
cry just hearing his voice. We decided that we just had to be together
and made a decision that the only way was for me to try to move there as
his dedication to his jobs and his children were way too much for him to
leave behind. The economy was a better option too but to take my
children there was going to prove to be very difficult also.
Then my dear mum.. who had seen how terrible my life had been .. saved
me from insanity. She offered us to live with her in Canberra so I could
save and get things sorted out in order to move to the States. Since Feb
2001 I have been here. I got a solicitor and started to sort out my
problem with the kids dad .. an agreement was made by the court that
would give him contact with them each year for the US Summer holidays
and had him sign the forms for the passports. The hardest part of my
problem seemed to sort itself out quite quickly.
The court agreement was signed and Anthony and I started to plan our
wedding. All my dreams were coming true. He came to Australia and I met
him in Sydney on July 4 2001. He met my children and they were instantly
mates. My son just followed him around everywhere and my daughter told
him he had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.
We were married on July 11, 2001 at "Salmon Haul" Bass and Flinders
Point at Cronulla Sydney - the spot that Captain Cook arrived at.
Overlooking the ocean that kept us so far apart. With some of my family
there and a small group of friends we vowed our love for each other
forever. It was the happiest day of my life and no person and no
distance could ever change that.
We had a great honeymoon just the two of us on the Gold Coast the
weather was perfect and so was our love for each other. Talking and
communicating to my best friend and having him as my husband for life it
was like nothing I had ever known. Words cant describe how wonderful our
relationship is and the strongest bonds of trust and faith in each other
was real. I credit our great communication from our longest deep and
intimate talks on the internet and over the phone. He loved Australia
and we needed to prepare ourselves for the departure once again. We
visited the US Consulate 3 days before he was due to fly home and we
lodged petitions for myself and my children for residency in the United
Anthony flew home on the 27th July, 2 weeks after we were married and it
was no easier than the first time. The first few days were a haze, and
crying came so easily. But we had to be strong and work towards our
dream of being together for life. I started working again and preparing
everything for the immigration interview, selling everything and
preparing to move to the States. Then it happened!!