I'm not sure why
I felt this way about a guy I knew nothing about except for his screen
name. I left his information up but I never IMed him, and I left the
room. I sat at my computer looking through my mail and debating if I
should talk to this guy or not. I finally built up enough courage to say
"hello" to him not knowing what would come next. Right as I IMed him he
told me that he was just about to sign off because there was nothing for
him to do, so I offered to let him go because I hate to feel that i'm
pressuring someone to talk to me. He denied my offer and we talked for
about two hours. I am normally a pretty happy person so i'm always
putting those little happy faces at the end of every other sentence or
so. I kind of had to stop myself, because he pointed out how much I was
He told me not to stop, but he noticed it
so much because he was not a truly happy person. I mean he would make a
face but, it would be a straight line as if he was always serious.
Nothing made this guy smile so, of course, I found him as a challenge.
By the end of our conversation I kept count of how many times I got him
to smile and I still remember and remind him of it to this day. After
about two hours he told me that it was really late where he was and he
had to get going. That's when we exchanged our location and names.
Andrè, that name just made me melt when I
repeated it out loud. When we said our goodnites I of course repeated
his name back to him. This first night of conversation with Andrè sent
me to bed smiling. The next night I got online and to my surprise Andrè
was there too. I felt this overwhelming sense of happiness when I looked
at his screen name and I wasted no time IMing him. He was pretty happy
about talking to me again, but his day kept him in a horribly sad mood.
And when he gets sad, angry, frustrated, etc. he gets really quiet.
Silence online is one of my pet peeves,
although I have learned to deal with it, because sometimes people just
don't have anything to talk about. Either way I continued to talk to him
and ask him questions and I finally got out of him that he was reading
over a script he had written for an assignment. I love to read stories
and poems and things and I asked him if I could read it. He agreed and
when I read it, I fell in love, head over heels, with Andrè's
intelligence. I mean every word was even spelled correctly. I was in
awe. I had to keep talking to him and see what else I could find out
about him. A month passed and he and I never missed a day of chatting
with one another.
I would find myself emailing him just to
say "I can't wait to talk to you later". One night we were talking and
he was telling me about a retreat he had gone to with his school. He
told me about a girl that he saw there, and he found her absolutely
gorgeous. That broke my heart, but I didn't let it get to me. I mean
what should I expect? We are two time zones away from one another. He
was my friend, my very close friend, so I should be able to handle such
news, and besides, I didn't want to get into another online relationship
again and I was pretty sure he felt the same. I asked if he had
approached her but, he said "no" because he was too shy. "Him? Shy?", I
thought to myself. That was just an odd thing for me to even think of.
After about 2 hours of talking about
everything, he started to go into this negative conversation, and he was
putting himself down. It broke my heart to read those words. After
arguing with him about how smart he is and things like that, I finally
gave in and I told him how I felt about him. I was scared out of my
mind. I told him that I just had to tell him that, and if he didn't feel
the same, I completely understood. He was quiet for about a minute, a
LONG minute, and he finally said, "Chimère?" I answered him, and he
said, "I friggin' like you A LOT!" My heart nearly jumped out of my
chest and all I could do was put my head on the table.
He finally confessed to me that the
reason why he didn't approach the girl at his retreat was because of me.
He also confessed that ever since the first night we chatted he has had
his eye on me. He saw me in the chatroom and he just stared at my screen
name and he had no idea as to why. He didn't want to be with the girl
from the retreat without knowing if he had a chance with me or not. I
was speechless. Everything felt so unreal, so much like a fairly tale,
but from that moment on I knew that my life would be so much better with
him as my boyfriend.
As time pressed on, I called him (oh man!
what a voice!) and sent him letters and pictures of myself and I
received the same. When I got his picture I was so ecstatic because he
was so very attractive to me. Looks, of course, did not matter to me,
but I was overjoyed that I could be with someone so handsome. After four
months of being with him, my life has been great. Of course, we have the
problem of family acceptance (my family), but I don't let them tell me
who I can and can not date.
No one can come between us, and all I ask
for is support. I don't have it from my parents, but it does come from
friends and other family members. So, all is not lost. I Love Andrè more
than life itself, it might sound strange coming from someone so young
(both of us are 18), but if Romeo and Juliet can do it at such a young
age (I know it was a story), then so can we. Our love is too real and
too perfect to ever let go of. I hope to soon be in his arms, and share
his kisses. That's the only hard part of our relationship, but the more
you wait, the better it will be, and I stand by that strongly.
Well, that's my story, and i'm glad I am
able to share it with so many people. Thanks for reading. And to all of
those people in an online relationship, good luck and I hope that
everything goes well.
*Love can bloom in the most unexpected places*