took me by surprise and I thought to myself who could this be, usually i
got the creeps thinking I was a female because of my nickname "Neurodancer"
they soon went when they found out I wasn't. The first thing we usually
ask is a/s/l after we say hello to each other. I gave Lilia mine 45/m/uk
and Lilia gave me hers 18/f/bulgaria, I was expecting Lilia to leave
straight away when she saw my age but she didn't and I was really
pleased about this, so I asked her if the age mattered, she said no, so
I felt really good now.
I asked her why she chose me out of all
the people to whisper to, "it was your name I noticed", she said. "It's
like a name of a song here in Bulgaria I've listened to called "Neuromancer".
So this was the beginning of our
relationship, we both chatted to each other about music for ages that
night, I don't know why but I felt at ease talking to Lilia as if I had
known her before, At the end of the night we exchanged our msn messenger
addresses so that we could speak without entering the chatroom. For me
this was a very good night because it was unexpected and this became a
regular occurrence over the coming nights. I began to want Lilia to be
online whenever I was.
We exchanged photos of each other and I
was instantly attracted to her but I didn't how she would react to me. I
thought there would be no attraction to me at all but to my surprise
Lilia said I was pretty, that made me feel so good inside. I knew I had
these feelings for Lilia and I needed to hear her voice so we arranged
for Lilia to call me one evening. I must admit I didn't know what to say
but when I heard Lilia"s voice - that was it, my feelings had escalated
into more than just fondness.
I was falling in love fast and it felt so good. The feeling we had
between was electric as if we had known each other for ages, we would
chat for hours and hours at night and at weekends. I was thinking about
her constantly now and we was talking more over the phone, I had really
fallen for her. In a period of our internet relationship Lilia went
through a really bad personal time of the loss of her best friend. All I
could offer Lilia was that I would be there for her anytime of the night
she only had to call and I would go online. This period of time brought
us closer together, we found out a lot about each other.
After a while my love for Lilia was
getting stronger so I wanted to meet her so badly. It was something I
needed to do, we would chat every night. At first I wanted to meet her
at the end of June but she said "no" because she was hoping to have an
operation in September and she didn't want me to see her before then. I
asked her why she would not tell me, so I left it at that even though I
couldn't understand why.
Lilia was constantly on my mind now and I couldn't wait that long before
I could see her, so every night we would chat and we would phone each
other when we could. This went on for 2 months until the beginning of
July when Lilia said "Do you want to come and see me?". I didn't
hesitate to say yes, We arranged it so that I would see Lilia in two
weeks time. I looked on the internet for what flights were available,
then I remembered that I had some air miles so I checked on their web
site to see if they had a flight to Bulgaria. I was so pleased to see
that they did and I rang them to book the flight. They had one seat left
thank goodness, so that was confirmed .
My stomach felt as if it had butterflies
in it at the very thought of seeing Lilia for the first time but it was
a nice feeling. I was so in love with a girl that I had never met, but
it felt so right to feel like this.
The morning of the flight came and I was
nervous at the thought of seeing Lilia for the first time. I don't know
why cause I knew that I loved her. When I arrived at the airport I
walked through the arrivals and I recognised Lilia immediately and my
arms went around her. I had this amazing feeling come all over me and I
knew that everything would be ok between us.
The two weeks that followed were absolute bliss. We got on really well
and I was deeply in love. I wanted to be with Lilia every second of the
day. She showed me around Blagoevgrad where she lived and I met her
family and friends. I had a really nice time meeting all of them.
When it was the day I was going back home
I didn't want to go. I could have quite easily stayed there with Lilia
and having to part from her at the airport departures I was heartbroken.
It was the worst time of my life. I could feel the tears welling up
inside of me as I stood waiting to board the plane home. The flight home
was depressing, everything was depressing. As soon as it was possible, I
phoned Lilia to hear her voice again, even though it had been only a few
hours ago that we were together.
Since I've been back, we have talked
about marriage and having children. All we have got to sort out is where
we shall live and the problems we shall encounter along the way to
achieve our dreams. I'm going back to see Lilia on the 1st September
2001. I was going to see her in October but I couldn't wait that long.
I'm finding it hard to be apart from Lilia. I love you Lilia!
>> Continued in