Shana and Michael: It all
started last July. I was baby sitting my younger cousin Kristian while my
aunt was out of town for the weekend. As it was getting late I put Kristian
to bed and I began to watch TV...
She's From: ? He's From: ?
My story begins a little over a year ago
at the beginning of summer.
I had just recently got AOL and was surfing
around in chat rooms paying little to no attention to the people I met
My best friend at the time was over and she
began talking to someone, I recognized their screen name. It turns out
she had started talking to someone I had shrugged off a week or two
earlier. So as odd as it seems she found the same person I had found and
completely ignored him. I thought this was a weird thing, but I ignored
it once again, until he started iming me after my friend had left.
Mainly out of boredom I started to talk to him.
Night after night we talked for hours til the early morning. Just know
he was there refreshed my mind and made me feel at ease.
That was a summer of tremendous change and
uncertainty for me. This person I had met on a computer seemed to make
me feel alive again. It was so hard for me to understand, so I went with
it and after a month or so I told the person how I felt about them and
they returned their feelings. From then on we talked sometimes eight to
nine hours a night. I fell in love...even if to this say he believes I
was never in love. He gave me so much, helped me feel so much, he was my
life. We talked everyday sharing our deepest and darkest feelings and
secrets. I thought this was the man I wanted to marry we talked about
everything from kids to marriage to spending the rest of our lives
During our year together we never met but talked on the phone several
times. He made me feel so alive just his voice sent chills through my
entire body. Every night would come on line to talk to him no matter how
busy I was. That was how it use to be. Yet due to my own fault I lost
this person. I was always one to play games and toy with his mind. I
broke his heart several times, in a way I always thought he would come
back and he did always, except for the last time. I loved him..I truly
did....but I was scared of so much...just the idae of never meeting this
person frightened me. I played with his mind over and over...I felt he
had to prove he loved me since I was never use to a male showing true
love towards me. I am still scared.
I can't believe I chased the person I loved away. I think now he
believes it was all a game and that i never cared. But I did care. He
made me who I am today. He showed me what life could be. He made me the
happiest girl on Earth and I still screwed with his mind. I guess in a
way I am cold hearted and everything he ever said. I do not know what
made me do what I did to him but I know I did it. I know I hurt the only
person in my whole life I ever truly cared about. I except all this and
I except the fact that I will live with this feeling for the rest of my
life. Because he was my first love and I still believe my true love.
We have been separated for a few weeks now and it seems we both
have moved on, yet I'm not sure how happy either of us are. I'm happy
for him I truly am and I love him enough that I want him to be happy and
I know I could never make him happy. He is far too great of a person for
me. But I will always and forever love him with all my heart and
everything I am.
I'm writing this basically to tell everyone not to take what they have
for granted because you will pay....and to the person I love, you know
who you are and I want you to know I love you and without you I would be
Love always and forever,