Nina:
It's strange how things happen... you are trudging through the mundane weary lanes of life when suddenly, out of nowhere, love walks in and touches your life in a way that you know that nothing could ever be the same again...
>> Continued
 

 

 

 
 

 
 

She's From:   United States
He's From:     United States

It all started about April of 2001. I (Ali I will call myself) was out of a pretty meaningful relationship cause the guy was scared and broke up with me after three days.

     
  Before that we were together from December 16th to February 15th if you haven't noticed that is the day after Valentines Day and yes I did break it off with him. The reason is he said not a word to me about this occasion not that I wanted a ton of
stuff or anything but a simple call or I love you would have made it all
the more wonderful, but sadly that didn't happen so I was heartbroken
and said it just couldn't work. I was still very sad over the fact it
didn't work out a second time.

Well sometime after we broke up this guy randomly picked me to IM.
(for lack of a more wonderful name we will call him Chris) He seem
really intelligent but love was not on either of our minds to say the
least.

 

 



   

 

 
       
  Things happened really slowly as I was still really liking my ex and he was truly in love with his best friend. But she didn't like him back so that ended that deal. We connected but I wasn't really attracted to him. He would listen to me but I was turned off by his pushy approach to stuff and it seemed like he had a "know it all" attitude towards stuff.

I guess at this point you should know that I am a social butterfly and a peacemaker with everyone to say the least. I try my hardest to befriend everyone and that is probably the only reason we still talk cause I love people and I love to learn about them. Somehow guys are attracted to that. My honesty and passion for life. the last thing I wanted was another guy telling me that he loves me.

I was going though an emotionally trying time then and I was falling 
for a guy too old for me. Chris was there and at sometime he 
fell for me I don't really know how or why. I just know he did. When
we would be talking about my relationship with guys I would notice him
say stuff like "Why don't you forget about all those guys and be with me?" 
I wasn't flattered and sorta shrugged him off to get out of the question.
Or I would make up excuses. The one I brought up the most of all was religion. 

I am a Christian raised in a Baptist life and it's the basis of my life
and the way I run it. I love the lord and nothing can come between him
and me. I believe in God based relationships and was very strong in not
dating or having a relationship with someone that didn't share my
beliefs. Chris on the other hand did not believe in religion or Gods of
any kind he refuses to listen to anything that you can't use your five
senses to know is there. It has caused many nights of disagreements and
I have to admit sometimes he would bug me so bad I blocked him. To this
day it still bothers me but I have come to accept it.

So in June I started a relationship with a guy that I had known for
a while and he too liked me. This naturally hurt Chris and cause a minor
fight he couldn't understand why and he was hurt by it. We worked it out
and became friends again. The two weeks with the new guy were glorious 
and I loved every minute of it. He soon left to go to New Jersey to see 
some family. The first few days were okay, but soon I found myself missing 
him very dearly. It was Chris who stayed up with me and comforted me through 
the night until almost 4 am and in that time we were very close we both felt
love but didn't really know what to do with it. We both knew that the
only reason that night happened was because my b/f was gone. 

This continued until he got back but the next day it just wasn't the same. 
The feeling weren't as passionate but still there. As he came back my b/f 
and I were going though some really hard times with my ex who had bugged 
me the whole time my b/f was gone. We endured it and had a close time of 
breakup but we didn't. Now I wish we had to simplify my life. But now my 
b/f is gone on another trip and the feelings for Chris have increased. 

As well as the respect and understanding. I love him very much but think 
I have to wait for now since I am in a committed relationship. He has been 
there for me and I have put him though a lot. We are so much alike it scares 
us. But if that doesn't make things complicated enough I will share some 
more things about the two of us:

He is 18 almost 19 and I am 15. That puts the age gap of 3 and half years.
He isn't expected to live past 30 due to severe asthma and a bad lung that 
bleeds and when he is 25 he is expected to be in the hospital for life. 
That has only deepened my love for him cause he is making such joy out of 
what he has left. He doesn't complain about it or act it in any way, instead 
you think he is going to live forever (he is determined he will : ) )

I had a very hard childhood. My parents divorced when I was 2 and a half and
I lived with my mom after that but saw my dad often. As a little kid I was 
neglected, abused emotionally and physically by my mother. Towards the end 
of it abuse had begun by my step-dad (someone she met on the internet and married very quickly) I got out of it and now I live with my dad who is really good to me but the emotional scars are there and they haunt me. 

I have major trust issues with all guys except my dad who was the only one 
who made me feel safe. Chris has had a very hard time with it and it's hurt 
him a lot cause I am really quiet and I don't talk about what I am feeling. 
Sometimes I won't talk and he knows I am hurting but he knows that I can't 
be pushed.

We know this complicates the story but if we work hard it can work.
We are still struggling with whether if we can make it work. I would
really like feedback from others. Thanks for reading my story.

"Ali"